So... Summer is gone. All that's left is the greenery, which is also slowly turning into yellow/red. Sadly there weren't that many of the really warm days this summer anyway, only lots of rain and many promises of thunderstorms, which didn't happen in 99% of cases (at least not in my city).
A little over four months have gone by since my last working day and I've done almost nothing with my free time.
Most days still follow the same logic as before: waking up at 6:30, coffee, shower, breakfast. Then out to do my steps or at last over half of the goal to reach the minimum requirement (if there's also gym in the evening and if not, then I'd do all the 10000 steps in one go). Three to four times a week around lunch time I'm on a WhatsApp call with Cameron who's in Melbourne (Australia) and we watch Drag Race together. Evenings it's either tv shows, games or gym (three to five times per week). Sleep around ten/eleven pm and repeat. Days have melted into each one other in a way. Sort of feels like groundhog day...
But I really do enjoy it. It's feels good to follow a path somehow and just not to worry. The idea from the start was to find a way to regenerate my nerves and I feel like it's been helping.
*I love walking in the mornings, because then there's less people around the Old Town.
*I love watching Drag Race with Cameron. Firstly because it's nice to share things with others and I really love the art of drag and drag queens overall.
*I love going to the gym. Sure, I may not fully enjoy all exercises I do, but I like the results. And I also found a friend to join me on most evenings, so there's more motivation to keep going. Thanks to him I do a stretching routine right after arriving to the gym (because he taught it to me and we always to do together at the start). Aaand of course not to mention all the eye candy that walks around in the gym. :P They also don't hurt it when you need motivation to keep pumping and stay active and healthy.
*I love going to sleep early. I feel much more invigorated when I keep to the same sleeping schedule. Without an alarm it is so easy to oversleep and then feel a lot more tired during the day than normally. Early mornings are also really nice because they're quiet and peaceful. Especially the first cup of coffee. :)
Normally during Saturdays Kacey would come to my place to watch TV shows together. At the moment we're flying through "Yellowjackets" and "Only Murders In The Building".
One of the main downsides of this unemployed life is the financial side. When I was let go from my previous job, they gave me some compensation, which helped me survive the summer. Also the unemployment agency sends some support once per month (almost like a payday), but that system is... not meant for a long time period. What I mean is that in Estonia you get unemployment benefits for 9 months (at the moment at least, since there are talks in shortening that). First they take the average of what you had earned in the past 6 months and then the first 90 days you get 70% of that average and then after that the percentage starts going down.
I survived the summer just okay with this benefit, plus what my previous company had given, but that all ended (even though I didn't splurge anything and was trying to be as careful as I could, so that it would last until I find a new job).
At the end of August there was one day where I had no money, nor food at home. Luckily brother helped me out and I pulled it through until the next "payday". Also got a little bit of cash from mom for my birthday in September (though I have a feeling she borrowed it from somewhere, because normally she has nothing by the end of the month herself).
Now I'm back there again. At this current moment I do have some food in the fridge, but my bank account has 14,23€ (just checked). No idea yet how I'll pull through, but there's always a way and I'm sure I'll figure it out. But if anyone wants to make a donation, I'm all open for it. :D
Job search wise it hasn't been that good either. Originally I wanted to do something I have never done before. I am tired of life in offices and all the bureaucracy and the world of consumerism and things like that. But since I never found something like that (which would also help me pay my bills and have enough left over for food and perhaps a visit to the cinema/museum or something), I've been sending my resume to any place that would pay enough. I would of course love to have a very highly paid job, but what I actually need is just to pay my bills, be able to feed myself and perhaps one or two outings in a month.
The biggest hit I got was when one company rejected me. It was the biggest hit to me, because I was 100% sure that if I don't find anything new/different to try, then that company would surely hire me, because I have these exact qualifications/skills they need. Well... After sending my resume to them and waiting for a few days - I got a rejection. I was shocked. I was 100% sure I'll get it and I didn't except this at all.
After that I just sent my resumes to any place that I could find (that would pay enough) and just hope. Sadly all I received were rejections (if any answer would come back at all).
Yesterday (16.10.203) I finally got my first invite to an interview. And oddly enough, it's the same company that rejected me, the one whom I was so sure that they'd take me. A friend of mine said that he knew someone who had applied 6 times to that company before they accepted him, so I kept sending my resume to them every few weeks and seems it worked. Now I have to get through the interview and then somehow survive until my first payday.
Though summer might be gone (for now), I'm still trying to keep up the good mood and hope for a brighter day (in every sense possible).
Short ones for the bank
- As of August 10th, 2023 I had survived living 4 years in my current apartment. It's the longest I've ever lived in one place, ever since I moved to Tallinn on the 22nd of March 2007.
- I finally started the puzzle again. About a year or so ago I bought a 2000 piece puzzle of the world map, assembled the edges of it and after that this project of mine kind of died. Now I'm trying again. For now I've assembled the edges back together and most of Europe and Africa. It's been sitting untouched for over a month by now, but I still fully intend to finish it this time. This time I'm not putting it together only on the floor, but have a cardboard and a slipping proof cloth. It's such a cool way to learn the world, I have to admit. I am finding so many places that I thought were located in a totally different place on the map/in the world.
- 08.09.2023 - Daytrip to Narva with Kacey
- As of the 17th of October, I've been nicotine free for 78 days.
- I don't really understand "prosecuting" someone solely based on what they had said or written several years ago. Everyone is capable of change. Just some never choose to so or maybe they just never have the opportunities to do so.
I want to point out that I specifically mean said or done only, not by what they did in the past. It's much easier to change your mind than it is to change what you did in the past. And IMO if you did something, then there's always a chance you can do it again, so there's always this lingering fear, like a second shoe waiting to drop. - I changed the faucet in the bathroom that was dripping and since it's my first time to do so and since I did it all on my own, it makes me feel so proud for some reason. Even though it was really simple, still I managed to psych myself out for days before completing the task in minutes and feeling like a real deal. xD
So here are the things I would do when I'd win the jackpot:
- Depending on the amount I would buy homes. Either one for myself only or one for myself, my mom and my brother or three apartments for myself (so that two of them could be occupied by friends whom are not from my country and I could offer them a place to live which is close to me and will have cheap rent) and then also one for mom and one for brother.
- I'd travel the world. Ideally I would love to visit all the countries in the world. I am very curious about different cultures, traditions, ways of living, etc.
- Perhaps go back to school. I'd love to learn something about the world of TV or cinema (not sure yet if behind the camera or in front of it). Everyone who knows me knows how much I love watching TV shows/movies. I love to watch actors playing their roles, different camera angles, the lighting, the composition, the music. In a way the movie/TV show makers are creating magic and I would love to be a part of that. I could imagine being on set of a comedy TV show and just laughing all day and having the time of my life while also putting food on the table.
- I'd also do a lot of charity. I love helping people and making them smile (regardless if they know it was me or not).
- I would fix my eye sight and get hair plugs (or whatever it is they do, because I don't like the fact that the top of my head is thinner than the sides).
- I would learn how to drive and perhaps get a car. In an ideal world I'd love to get a caravan and go travelling in that.
- I would improve my diet (meaning eat a lot more healthier) and try to get better at the gym with some professional help.
